What I Wish More Non-Adoptive Parents Knew

When we were called about a baby boy born a few states over, his mama looking for The Couple that clicked *them* in her soul…

…I could not have imagined the years to come of intense unlearning & relearning, humbling & growing, & the deepest love I’ve ever experienced.

I don’t share much about how the consequences + beauty of adoption *personally* impacts us.

As he grew from infant into toddler into little kid into Full Blown Big Kid…the way I share about our life & relationship has drastically shifted.

But what I will share in this post is:

⚡️I wish more parents who haven’t adopted would educate themselves on language & how to talk to your kids about adoption ⚡️

I wish more non-adoptive parents would point blank teach their kids that families are ALL DIFFERENT & asking a friend at school about “their real” parents is incredibly inappropriate/harmful.

I wish non-APs would help break the stigma that there’s something inherently wrong with adoptees.

I wish TV shows & movies & people would stop using “or you’ll be put up for adoption” as Jokes, threats, & insults.

If you tell your kid a peer is adopted, then seek out respectful & sensitive language to use while explaining what this means. Tell your kids it’s an incredibly personal thing & it’s nothing to tease or be mean about.

And AP’s.

Keep telling your kids over & over & over again that they owe NOBODY their story, & they can OWN their story proudly if that is right for them.

They can answer questions if they want & they have nothing to be ashamed of…& ALSO saying “I don’t want to talk about this” is entirely appropriate too.

Their story, details, & all the “double dip” feelings (that’s what we call mixed emotions) are THEIRS to share OR keep close.

Model these things by turning to your kid in the moment “So-&-so is asking about your adoption, do you want to talk about it?” & let them decide.

You are your child’s protector.

Don’t teach them to exploit themselves simply because society feels entitled to them or thinks they’re a novelty.

Teach them to use their voice, trust their own intuition, & then help them honor it.

My firstborn son is of the most INCREDIBLE humans.

I’m the luckiest one.