Telling My Child His Adoption Story
“There was a mom & dad who didn’t have any kids yet, but they wanted to have lots of kids! They wanted to have babies from their tummy but also wanted to adopt a baby needing an adoptive family. They kinda hoped to have 2 babies at once.”
“You & daddy!?”
“🤫. WELL! They got pregnant the same week they started the adoption paperwork! That baby ended up dying in mom’s tummy.”
“Why did the baby die?” They always ask.
“We don’t know. But mom & dad kept on the adoption paperwork, waiting & waiting for a mom to choose to place her baby in their arms. Which is a big deal. Mom also got pregnant again.”
“And that was Ira!” Sage says.
“Yep, that was Ira. Mom & dad kept waiting & waiting, a little nervous no mom would choose them because they already had a baby coming.”
“But then R had me!” Sage says.
“Yep! Then one Wednesday morning our adoption agency told us about a perrrrrrrfect, loved, wanted baby boy born. His mama had looked at lots of different family books, but didn’t feel right until the worker showed her a photo of me & dad!”
“Then you threw up on the airplane.” They always recount that part. “And daddy had diarrhea.”
“Yes. We were both sooooo nervous! What if Momma R didn’t like us? What if you missed Momma R right away? Which you did. But we flew from Portland to you, with the help of soooo many friends. We went to the store to get flowers & a card; it was sure hard to write in that card. Then we went to the hospital & there was that perfect, precious, so loved baby & mom.”
“Me! & Ira was in your tummy!”
“Yep. Momma R was there & we all sat on the bed & cried + chatted for a long time.”
“Then dad got her a burger & fries right?” Sage recounts the details I forget I’ve woven in over the years.
Each time I remember new details. They can fill in blanks when I leave something out. Obvi a lot more to this story & they ask a lot of Q’s repeatedly.
I’ve been telling this to him since the first week I held him. It started as practice convos for many things, but especially for sharing with him the start of his life.
The point is we can start as early as the day we meet them, telling them their story. Secrecy breeds shame & our kids deserve their story.
