I went to yoga for the (6th) 1st time today. I've gone to yoga for the 1st time six times now. I tried it throughout high school and again in college at OSU. There is something about yoga I can't stand. Probably that I'm terrible at it. And every time I try it, I fall asleep. I have never thought, "I enjoyed that. I should do it again, for my enjoyment." {Disclaimer: nothing against those who do yoga, I have many friends who love it and I love them. It's just not my cup of tea}. I decided I should try it again: it's new which means new people and I'm constantly trying to find ways to remind myself that as a Christian, I want to stretch my comfort zone and build relationships. With strangers.
This morning as I sat in the dark room at G3, using a mat that smelled way too similar to sweaty bare feet, I listened and watched the instructor's every move. About 10 minutes in I realized no one else was waiting on her every word with their eyes boring into her being; but I was. The other four individuals knew the routine, internalized the poses (is that what they're called?), and were on auto-pilot. Just doing their thing. I on the other hand had no idea what I was doing, I didn't know how to position my hips in the "warrior pose," and I certainly didn't know anything-yoga. Though I've taken a yoga class countless times, it felt like the very first time, once again.
I began praying.
Then it hit me: I so often push the "auto-pilot" button. I so often take my eyes off of Jesus, my instructor and leader. I so often don't hang on His every word, learning and improving as much as I can in every waking moment. When I get frustrated and choose to lash out in anger at whatever task, thing, or person in front of me, I take my eyes off my Instructor. When I decide to feel entitled to anything ever, I take my eyes off of Jesus. When I choose to ignore the hungry right before my eyes, standing on the street begging, I take my eyes off my Instructor. It gets real tricky when I am in the groove and soaring high, so high that I confuse Jesus' Spirit and strength with my own, and I take my eyes off of Him and place them on myself. Every sin and mistake is because I've taken my eyes and turned my ears away from Jesus. I forget who I am: His child, His student, HIS.
Just as I was watching every move and listening to every instruction the yoga instructor gave, I should be doing so with the one that guides my life. I want to be a student of His word, which will produce wisdom and understanding of His will.
Today I really focused on and came back to this part of this week's verse:
Being able to stand firm in my faith comes from spending time in His word; the very foundation of my faith. So today I am reminded to keep my eyes on Jesus' every move, reminding myself to stand firm on Him and His word. When we know His word, we know His will. And there we are able to stand firmly.
